Does Love Really Win?
Everyone has their own sense of style- to have a “good” sense about fashion or jewelry is to find things that express who you are without saying anything. We appreciate traits such as humor, intellect, kindness, determination, among others, that make a person unique. All of these things exude from within and speak to who a person is at the core. Some of these we are born with, some we choose, and some we need to work on to achieve. For example, some people are innately joyful. You know the type- extremely happy and optimistic, no matter the situation. But for the rest of us, we often find ourselves needing to choose joy. In the end, who we are at the core, whether inborn or chosen, is the person that everyone else sees.
This blog’s topic has nothing do to with fashion or jewelry, but it has everything to do with who we are at the core, and what we should all strive for. Also, let me start off by saying that I am writing this as a reminder just as much for myself, as I am for some of you.
This past year I have become increasingly aware of all the judgement in the world. Both in my own life (including judgement against me, and the judgement I give), from and against those around me, and everywhere else- news, social media, magazines, etc. It bothers me. I have been reminded time and time again that it isn’t our place to cast any type of judgment on anyone else. Who are we to tell someone that who they are, or what they are doing, is wrong? Last time I checked, we don’t live in a coutry of Dictatorship. We cannot deny anyone else the simple, fundamental freedoms that we, ourselves, are blessed with having. It doesn’t matter if it involves the music someone listens to, the clothes they wear, the faith a person lives by, the colour of their skin, or whom they love. You don’t need to understand it, you don’t need to “get it”, but you do need to allow people to be who they are. You don’t need to support their actions or decisions, but you do need to support their happiness.
I don’t understand veggie burgers. I don’t understand the concept, or the desire someone has when they order one. But if they do, I don’t chastise them and make a picket sign that says “You Should Love Meat!” I don’t know their story or what has led them to make that decision. For all I know, meat causes their bowels serious distress during digestion, leading them to hospitalization. I don’t know, and I also don’t need to know. It’s not my place to ask why, to tell them they should be doing otherwise, or to look at them any differently.
We are unworthy to judge- when we accuse others, we are excusing ourselves. When we cast judgement and throw hatred at someone, we are denying them of their freedoms. At the very moment that those harsh words come out of your mouth, as you saying them, you are excusing yourself of every “wrong” in your own life- lying, deceit, hatred, etc. Think about your day yesterday- did you speed while driving? Tell your boss, parent, child or spouse a half-truth? Cut corners on a work or school project? Do a personal errand during paid work time? Speak unkindly to someone? Even the very action of casting judgment on a person can be considered “wrong”. None of us are blameless of judgement, nor are we blameless of any wrong-doing. So how can consider ourselves worthy of throwing other people under the bus, if we aren’t the picture of perfection?
Like I said, I am in need of this reminder just as much as anyone else. Oftentimes I need to remind myself that my way is not the only way. Some people would say that I have a strong personality. I am decisive, loud at times, somewhat opinionated and a generally confident person. I can find myself getting a bit annoyed while watching someone complete a task because they aren’t doing it the way I would. My husband is often on the receiving end of this, especially when it comes to dealing with our children. Saying words like “What are you doing?!” or “Why did you do that?!” I’ve had to take a step back and realize that A). my words and tone are hurtful and not full of love and encouragement, and B). his way gets him to the exact same end-point as my way would, so what’s the difference?! My way is not the only way, nor is it necessarily the right way. I can’t come down on my husband, or anyone else in any other situation, just because they aren’t doing what I would do, or what I believe to be right. Nobody deserves to be torn down based on my own systems.
If we all adjust our outlook and choose to support everyone’s happiness, and accept everyone’s uniqueness and individuality, that will also reflect in our own selves. Some of us need to choose to be accepting, some of us need to choose to be kind or loving to all people, and some of us need to stop ourselves before we speak in order to hold back the judgement. When we do this, when we make these decisions, it changes who we are at the core. It may just be me, but when I am with people who are already like this, I am drawn to them. It’s a beautiful thing to be supportive and loving of everyone.
It's Simple :
My point is simple- support a life of happiness, for yourself and for those around you.
All I ever want for my family and friends, and for myself, is that we live a happy joy-filled life. I may not fully understand why someone is the way they are, or some choices they make. I may not “get it”, and that’s ok. I don’t need to. I choose to support a life that is full of love and joy.